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I had to learn a long time ago that no matter how much I wanted something for someone else or for them to treat me a certain way or an action to be taken to better the world, I only had control over me. My actions and the results I created. I live by the rule –ponder – pick and choose. This philosophy took me from frustration to now letting a lot roll of my shoulders. I smile more and I am at greater peace with myself – which in return reflects on to others.
You can only take ownership of what you can take ownership of. You cannot change what, how or why people react, respond, retreat or behave. You cannot work harder on others then you are willing to work on yourself. You are the only one that can and should take ownership of being you. Everything else is a material factor and needs to be treated as such for your own sanity and peace of mind.
There are many times in your life you will have to recondition yourself (change) and as long as you are in acceptance to this fact, you will always grow and become stronger and wiser through your life’s experiences.
G-d never gives you more then you can handle although we tend to think other wise as we are going through difficult situations.
My pondering moments allow me to analyze all sides of any situation whether it is personal or business related, good and bad. There is never a time frame on my pondering moments, when I am satisfied with my decision then and only then will I address it. I don’t allow anyone to provoke any conversation to have a conclusion before I am 100% ready to do so. This way I can take full ownership of how the result ends on my part. This doesn’t mean I am not open to hearing a rebuttal, it just gives me more clarity how to handle the objectives. And I always listen to every word before I speak, I do not interrupt, giving the other party the opportunity to share their thoughts and reasoning. If I need more time to ponder, then I do and if I see that their ideas of valid and make sense, I change what I feel should be changed. We are far from perfect, so as you ponder, put yourself in the other party’s shoes and feel how they feel and be flexible, open-minded. For me, it is never to late to teach this old dog new tricks!
My pick and choose decision is based on:
a. What is the most important component?
b. Why do they feel this way? (Putting myself in their shoes)
c. Who is involved and how will it affect everyone.
d. What is the real challenge?
e. Solution to the end result.
Let’s all learn to smile more and to frown less ….
Cheers:)
Lyn-Dee
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January 19th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
It’s great that you took your time to write all this up; it’s great to hear another’s opinion. I appreciate your work on this post, and I’ll come back for more reading.
January 19th, 2010 at 10:36 pm
Thank you Sabina, I appreciate you staying plugged into me and I am always here for you.
Cheers to your bright future!
Lyn-Dee
January 23rd, 2010 at 10:10 pm
Good post
January 25th, 2010 at 4:24 pm
Thank you so much Lucy, it always means a lot to me that people are getting out of my blogs what I put in to them.
{{hugs}}
Lyn-Dee
February 5th, 2010 at 5:39 pm
I recall so many times in my life feeling let down because I couldn’t change something in someone else. It doesn’t matter how much we wish for things to be different or better.
Your post here got me thinking how I too one day realized that we can only sow seeds around us and hope, but the seeds we plant within are the only ones we can nurture and help grow into the garden of our choosing.
February 5th, 2010 at 5:53 pm
Robin, you are so right. Thank you for sharing your wisdom and I truly look forward to staying in touch with you!
We can only take responsibility for ourselves and our choices….amen
{{hugs}}
Lyn-Dee
March 16th, 2010 at 10:27 pm
It just makes sense Lyn-Dee. You’ve really captured the essence of how we need to work with others in personal and business decision making. Bravo.
Phil Jackson´s last blog ..The Daily Crushers Marketing Syndication Tribe: A New Business Model
March 16th, 2010 at 10:31 pm
Great Post Lyn-Dee!
Your first sentence, “no matter how much I wanted something for someone else or for them to treat me a certain way or an action to be taken to better the world, I only had control over me” says it all.
This is something that we all need to learn early in life. When we realize that we can only control us then we have much more peace in life. Worry can’t exist and happiness grows.
You do such a GREAT job!
Thanks,
Renee
Renee Chase´s last blog ..My Boy of Summer – Update
March 16th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Hey Lyn-Dee! As usual you are speaking from your heart and your passion is obvious.
This is a timely reminder that we can only control ourselves and our own decisions, and our own proactivity. Thanks so much for this timely reminder of where our power really lies!
Glen.
Glen Martin´s last blog ..Social Media: My Conversion!
March 16th, 2010 at 11:02 pm
Thank you so much Phil! I am always looking to inspire and help make everyone’s days peaceful.
{{hugs}}
Lyn-Dee
March 16th, 2010 at 11:06 pm
Glen, I am honored and humbled by your comment. Together we all grow, it is a choice to win and I know you chose to win. Thanks for being connected!
{{hugs}}
Lyn-Dee
March 17th, 2010 at 2:42 am
Lyn-Dee,
Your personal coaching and branding style is very attractive. I really enjoy reading your blog posts and seeing how you can empower others with just a few words.
it’s actually freeing what others come to realize that you can only control what you can control. there’s so much out there that’s going to happen weather you like it or not.
Make the best of it and move on. But be empowered to know when you can make the changes you need to make. Thanks for continuing to bring a much needed vision to our industry.
Ken Pickard
The Network Dad
March 17th, 2010 at 10:26 am
Ken, you are too kind. It is all about the results you get from the action steps you do. Empowerment comes to us one step at a time…
{{hugs}}
Lyn-Dee