Woobie’s Corner

Woobie’s Corner



Hey There!

I am so honored and humbled to have been able to have a column on the www.powerwomenmagazine.com site. I wanted to thank each and every one of you for allowing me to be a part of your solutions to help you have a more enjoyable and peaceful life. I am looking forward to another year of inspiring you to become everything and more!

Cheers to you! Together we will accomplish a brighter tomorrow for all!

I promise to always be here for you!

Ask me anything you want. Is it about your personal life, business life or just not certain how to handle a situation with friends, family or peers?

Please e-mail me your questions to info@lyn-dee.com Please write in the subject matter “Woobie’s Corner Q”

No one will judge you and your name will be anonymous. As a matter of fact, you will be able to choose your name as a woobie family member.

So, my name is Woobie____?  There is one woman that calls herself, Woobie’s Classy Gal! Love it!

Sending love to all my Woobie Girls!  Tossing Big Woobie Smiles to you! :) Catch!

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Woobie’s Corner is written by Lyn-Dee Eldridge aka ~~Woobie~~
Copywrite 2010 Lyn-Dee Eldridge
Please send your questions to info@lyn-dee.com and in the subject matter, please put “Woobie’s Corner Q”


March, 2010


Divorced with Children and Can’t Compete With My Ex …

Dear Woobie,

I have been divorced now for 1 year and I have 2 children,  3-year-old girl and 8-year-old boy. My problem is that my ex-husband has the children every other weekend and when he has them, he spoils them rotten. So when they come home, they don’t want to go to bed at their normal time, they don’t want to eat what I cook them and they expect me to go and buy them everything they want because that is what their father does. Their father will not let them bring home the things he buys them and tells them it is up to me to get them toys for my house. He doesn’t have a set bedtime and he doesn’t cook for them, instead takes them wherever they want to go, usually fast food junk food. How can I possibly compete with that?

I told my kids, I am not their father and in my house they are to do what they are told and the rules in this house is the way it should be, period. I feel I am right and just need some back-up input to assure myself that I should stand my ground, after all, I am their mother.

I can’t wait to hear back from you.

Divorced Mother of 2 in Albuquerque, New Mexico


Dear Wonderful Mother of 2,

I hear you loud and clear. This is a very common problem in the divorced parent world, so please don’t feel you are alone. I for one have been in your shoes and here is my advice. I understand you are mom and you have set rules and so you should, but how about a little flexibility? And here is what I mean.

Let’s start with bedtimes. I agree that the children should have a set bedtime, but how about bending a little on the weekends. Speak with the children and let them know that when they don’t have to get up early and you don’t have to go to work the next day, then sure, they can stay up a little later.  Let the children stay up a little later then their normal bedtime and make it a fun family time of either a home movie night with popcorn and maybe even rearrange the room with the kids as if they were a part of the fun night. Furniture is easy to move around and then put back. Maybe build a tent or better yet, how about a sleep in the living room with pillows and blankets. (I bet they will fall asleep more peacefully and enjoy this time with you) Allow them to set this up with you.

How about a family game night. I understand you can’t afford to buy them something new all the time, but I think even libraries have games that you can check out like a book and if not, there are discount stores like Big Lots that sell games cheaper then Toys R Us. Other options could be the dollar stores or consignment stores, they always have games and there is also Wal-Mart. Before you go to the store sit down with your children and let them in on what your plans are before you take them to the store. Tell them you are all going to the store to buy a new family game and you have a $$ budget of (what ever that is, $5, $10). This way they will feel as if they are a part of this amazing idea and you will all go with the same plan, they will feel as if they got a new something and you will feel better to be giving instead of feeling as if you are competing with their father.

Food for thought.  How about instead of you making the decision of what they are going to eat, ask them what they want and have them also participate in cooking the meal. In the children’s mind, I bet it isn’t even about the food; it is about the toy they get inside their kids meals. Again, easy inexpensive solution. Go to the dollar store and pick up cheap toys for the kids and as long as they are good, they will get this surprise during their dessert that they helped make with you.

I remember going to the dentist when I was a little girl and there was always a treasure box that I could pick a toy from, it didn’t matter that it was filled with junk, I got to pick a toy!

Oh, let’s not forget about coupons. Here is a web site for restaurant coupons, just in case you do want to take the children out to eat.http://www.momsview.com/printablerestaurantcoupons.shtml

If I might also add:

Please I know it is hard, but no matter what, never speak badly about their father to them. They are young and don’t understand what is going on, nor should it be their problem. Once the children see that it is just as much fun being with you, they will brag about you to their father. Allow the children to enjoy both worlds, after all …. They are the innocent angels that were put in this situation; let’s make sure they know both homes are where they belong.

See there are solutions to fighting the two-house battle; you just need to be flexible and creative. I know you are a great mom with a common problem. I couldn’t afford anything either, so I would come up with solutions to overcome this challenge. It would drive my ex-husband crazy…

Love and {{hugs}},


February, 2010


Take Away My TV… Are You Crazy!
(This is one of the funniest but serious letter I have ever received.)

Dear Woobie,

I don’t think I am the one who needs help. I think it is my family that needs to hear from you. So I am writing this to you and then I will show your response to my family and hope that they will leave me alone.
I am 47 year old and I have 2 children, a boy 17 and a girl 15 and then there’s my husband who really won’t get off my cause. It all started about 2 years ago. Up till then, everyone was just fine. What the ****. Here is the situation.
After everyone leaves for the day to go to school and to work, I start my day, but I do it the way I want to do it and that is the problem. I believe that after all these years of being a stay at home mom and taking care of my family, I have the right to spend my day doing what ever I want and no one should complain or try to take away my TV! I clean, cook and do all the household stuff but my family tells me that I am so wrapped up in my soap Operas, that I don’t get things done anymore and I am getting fat and lazy and my husband asked me to get a part-time job instead of watching TV all day.
I think I deserve to do what I want after all these years of taking care of them and as for the job thing, I haven’t worked in 18 years. Right after I got pregnant with my son, I stopped working, so who would hire me and what would I do? I like the way my life is and I just wish my family would leave me alone and just go about their days, I never tell them what to do. Can you please tell them to leave me alone?

Thanks Woobie

Soap Opera Queen in Denver, Colorado


Dear Soap Opera Queen,

You are too funny ☺. I can just see you telling everyone to just leave you alone and let you do want ever you want to do.

To address your family as you’ve requested:

Guys, plain and simple. You can’t keep getting on her case about how she spends her days or to get a job. I know you are concerned for her that she is wasting her days and melting (absorbed) in front of the TV and growing (gaining weight). But we all understand that the more you harp on her, the less she is going to change anything. How about just loving her and accepting her for who she is. Of course I am sure you have your side as well, so if you would like to share it with me, maybe I can help everyone out in one final answer. If not, please just love and understand mom. She gave you the best years of her life and now she feels it’s her turn, nothing wrong with that if in fact this is the whole story.

Awaiting your response before my final answer. Please e-mail me at info@lyn-dee.com

And mom, you might not like all my suggestions/replies, but you asked for it.

With Love and {{hugs}},


RESPONSE from family:

Dear Woobie,

Wow, we can’t believe mom wrote to you, you’re right about one thing-she is funny. She always keeps us laughing. The 3 of us are all here writing this to you together about mom. My brother, my dad and me.

She IS the Soap Opera Queen but she is also our QUEEN. We love her so much and we are afraid that she is not getting out like she use to and she has gained 70 pounds in the last year, so yes we are worried about her. Mom can do so many things, she use to volunteer in schools and other social parent events, now she just stays home and doesn’t do anything. She use to be a neat freak, now the house isn’t so cared for. She never use to watch so much TV, but now she seems to be so wrapped up in the daytime soaps that she doesn’t move from the TV for HOURS. If she is out anywhere, she makes sure she is HOME when her shows start. We even told her that in today’s world, we are able to record her shows so she doesn’t miss a thing, you know what she said, “then the shows are old and she wasn’t there when things were happening.” Yes, we laugh at her because we can’t believe she says things like that all the time. As for a job, dad didn’t say get a job to get a job, he also suggested that maybe she should volunteer like she use to, to get her out of the house and spend time with people. So Woobie, that is our side of the story, can you help us tell mom, we love her and just don’t want to see her getting older and even weaker. There is more to life then TV and she deserves to be enjoying her days not (like you said), melting them away. We want her around for a long time, so maybe you can tell her, we aren’t nagging her, we care about her. Thanks Woobie

The family of the Soap Opera Queen in Denver, Colorado


Dear Soap Opera Queen and her loving family,

I bet your home is filled with laughter and joy.
Mom I will give you one final change to reply before I summit this onto my column. Do you have anything to add? I want to make sure I got the whole story before I give my final answer.

RESPONSE from mom:

Oh Woobie, yes my family loves me and what they added is true. And you are right, we do have a happy life, but damn it, I am 47 and this is all I want to do at least for right now. Is there really anything wrong with it?

The Queen


Dear Soap Opera Queen and her loving family,

Thank you all for sharing your concerns and here is my final answer.
Mom, I am 49 years old and I know how you feel to some degree. We do deserve “our time” and we do have the right to spend it how ever we want too, but there are parts of this story that are just silly and because your family does love you and is concerned about your health mentally and physically, maybe you can also bend a little for them and for yourself.

Let me address the recording issue of your shows. Come on, you really don’t believe you are missing the drama of those highly maintained drama shows that are not real, do you? You’re way to smart for that one. There is nothing wrong with wanting to watch your favorite shows as a recorded show, (since they are already a recorded show and fiction). If you are too involved in these shows, maybe it is time to wean yourself off of them. I have heard of people becoming so absorbed in TV shows that their own lives got seriously affected by them. They are not real and their problems are not real. I bet if you don’t watch your shows for 6 months and then turn on the TV to watch them again, they will pretty much be the same as when you last watch them. They are just that, Soap Operas.
As for a job. Your family just wants you to interact with people and enjoy your days. Nothing wrong with that. Many women would die for a family like yours, who care about them and love them and only want to see them happy and healthy.
It sounds like you also gained some weight and you are not exercising or doing any activity. We both know that this is not at all healthy. The older we get, the harder the weight is to lose, please be careful.
My suggestion and advice to you mom, is don’t let life pass you by sitting in front of a TV that truly does nothing for you but cause you to be over weight and unhealthy both mentally and physically.
Don’t you want to be around to meet and enjoy your grandchildren?
And what a blessing, not to have to get a job, but to have the choice to volunteer and make a difference. I think and I could be wrong, you would be much happier sharing a different reality drama then what your TV brings you.
When you are ready, start interacting outside your home and I bet you will be even happier then ever before. You’ve got a great family who adore you, don’t miss a single moment of them.

And as for the loving family,

As I stated before, you cannot make mom do anything she really doesn’t want to do, let her be and what ever will be is up to her. Just keep loving her and enjoying her. Mom is a smart women, she will interact when she is ready. After all, nagging never stopped you from doing what you wanted to do, now did it?

Que Sera, Sera … what ever will be, will be….

Additional Response from The Queen

Dear Woobie,

Thank you for calling me and talking to me and sharing a laugh. I just wanted to add that at first my family thought I might be going through a deep depression and that is not at all the case. I am very happy and I truly just want to enjoy my days the way I want to. I promise you and my family I will be getting out and about shortly, but when I am ready. Thanks for all your time and your concern, you are wonderful and I can see why people reach out to you. You are a true angel.

The Queen ☺

Woobie’s Response

Dear Queen,

It was wonderful speaking to you as well. You are so warm and funny. I can see why your family enjoys you so much. I am glad you are not depressed as this can be a serious problem and we all just wanted to make sure this was not the case with you. Go ahead and enjoy your days, stay in touch and keep me up on your daily activities.

Love and {{hugs}}

January, 2010


I’m Embarrassed To Be Broke For The Holidays:(

Dear Woobie,

I am so beside myself. I use to be able to spend for the holidays and give so many wonderful things to my family. Now I have lost my job and I am on such as tight budget. I haven’t told my family about me losing my job or that I am having a hard time even paying my bills let alone buy them gifts. There is nothing to speak about under my artificial tree and my family wants to have Christmas at my house. I haven’t decorated not because I don’t have the decorations from years passed, just not in the spirit of Christmas, nor can I afford to have the food to feed all of them. I guess I am too embarrassed to tell them I am broke when they have always looked up at me as the one who succeeded the most. The worst part is I am trying to come up with excuses why I shouldn’t have Christmas at my house this year and how can I get out of seeing everyone on Christmas day. I don’t want to let anyone down and I don’t want them to think less of me. I am in a jam and don’t know what to do? I am sick to my stomach about this. Any suggestions?

A Christmas Wonderer in Maui, Hawaii


Dear Christmas Wonderer,

Merry Christmas! This holiday has gotten out of hand when it comes to gift giving. This is not supposed to be a holiday about the material things we give, but the time we get to spend with family and friends.

There are easy solutions for you and the first thing you have to do is stop being ashamed that you are jobless right now. The way the world is and the economy, your family will understand. So the first thing I would suggest, is being honest and telling your family the truth.
They will not think any less of you, but will probably want to help you feel better and support you emotionally.

As for gift giving, oh there are many things you can give that will cost you very little. I remember when I was in your situation, (everyone is there one time or another in their life. You’re not alone.) The best gifts I have ever received were the gifts that are made for me. And during this holiday season, baked goods are the best. You can bake cookies and little cakes and make goody packages with home made cards. You can go to the dollar store and pick up little things to add to it if you wish.
As for the meal, there is nothing wrong with everyone bringing a dish and you know when everyone brings a dish, it makes it so much more enjoyable for all.
The most important part of this holiday and any holiday for that matter is spending time with your loved ones, that is the best gift you all can give each other.
Don’t be embarrassed for what you don’t have, be proud of what you have accomplished and what you are looking forward to for the New Year. And maybe you should stop looking at losing your job as a bad thing, but a blessing. You now have a change to enter a new opportunity, so think about what is it that you really want to do and then for 2010, make it happen. What have you always been passionate about, what were you BORN to do, not what you were taught to do? Please visit my site,
www.lyn-dee.com for more inspiring thoughts and goal settings.
E-mail me if you want some easy inexpensive recipes for baked goods, info@lyn-dee.com.
And for goodness sakes, take out your decorations and enjoy what the holiday is all about. If your environment is pleasant and joyful, you will feel so much better. You already have them in a box, and it won’t cost you anything to bring the magic of Christmas into your home.

Happy Holiday’s my Christmas Wonderer… remember, if you have your health, you are richer then rich…. You are not alone … please allow others in and put your guard down…. Remember you are human and your family and friends love you.

Merry Christmas and let’s make 2010 the best year ever!

Love and {{hugs}}


A Christmas Wish and a Prayer for a Little Girl!

When you are blessed with so much, you are able to ‘Pay it Forward’ in so many ways. Unfortunately, Christmas has turned into such a materialistic holiday that we loss sight of what it truly is all about. The letter below is about a very special little girl that ‘Pays it Forward’ and doesn’t even realize she is doing so. A brave little girl that already has blessed so many other children with her warm heart.

Donating a gift…
I put out a request for all to send me a letter stating why their child should receive a special gift for Christmas. There were so many, but this one below really captured our hearts.

I want to thank you all for your letters of little angels that need an extra smile for Christmas. This was a very hard decision and I am glad I had a team to pick the winner. DRUM ROLL……The Hannah Montana Guitar and gear go to a very sweet little girl in Tenn. G-d Bless all the children, my prayers and devoted dedication will always be with them. I promise to always do the best I can to make this world a better and safer place.

Her story…

I know my 6 yr old granddaughter would just be overwhelmed with joy to receive a Hannah Montana guitar. She has been a fan since age 4.
She is my oldest granddaughter and has had to deal with so much in her young life.

Back in May 2008, her dad committed suicide in their home. Her little mind could not grasp why Dad didn’t want to spend his life with her and her sisters. Even though she has had so much grief to deal with and not knowing what grief is, when she went to group counseling and heard the stories of other children losing their dads, she would go to console them without any thought for herself. She told her Mom — Mommy, they need lots of hugs to get thru this.

It’s been hard to just watch her sadness but she now is coming to grips with not having Dad there and is taking care of her 2 sisters, *******, who is turning 5 and ******* who is 3. The nightmares have lessened and we are seeing more smiles on this face but the biggest change that has emerged out of all this is a little girl who will care for others in their pain and put hers aside.

She is now working on a Christmas show where she is writing all the songs so that she can make other people understand that Christmas is about giving and caring for others.
Even though they only have Social Security income right now and not enough for extras her and her sisters have given up their Christmas gifts to give to a child on a Angel Tree.

She is quite the little lady.

I think we can all agree that this little angel deserves a special Christmas :)

Happy Holiday’s everyone, may G-d bless each of you and watch over all the little angels that he has created within us.


December, 2009


Why Are We In The Middle of Our Parents Divorce ?☹

Dear Woobie,

Please help my brother, sister and me understand. Our mom and dad got divorce and it hurts. I am 15, my sister is 11 and my brother is 7. We love both our parents but we don’t like being with either of them. When we are with mom, we hear her talk badly about dad and she always ask us questions about him when we come home and when we are with dad, he talks badly about mom and ask us questions about mom when we are at his house. We love them both so much but we feel sad inside. My brother and sister always ask me, “why don’t mommy and daddy like each other, maybe they don’t like us too? I don’t know what to say to them because I don’t understand myself. I cry at night alone with my face in my pillow so my brother and sister don’t hear me and I smile when they are around me. I think I am supposed to protect them and it’s hard for me to do this when I am so confused.

We feel like we are in the middle and if we don’t answer their questions, they will be mad at us and not like us anymore. Can parents not like their kids anymore and divorce them? Will we be homeless? We are so scared. How come they are so mad at each other?
Oh, by the way, my mom is pretty neat when she doesn’t talk about dad and dad is pretty neat when he doesn’t talk about mom.
Woobie, can you make it stop hurting so much?

Woobie’s Three little angels caught in the fire… San Diego, California


Dear Woobie’s Special Angel,
To my sweetest dearest Three little Angels…

I am so happy you wrote to me. Oh sweetie, your parents love you and your sister and brother very very much. They would never in a million years ever divorce you three wonderful children, you are their lives.

Adults sometimes just don’t think about who’s around them that hear what isn’t fair for you to hear. Mom and dad are like children sometimes, you know, you’re not my friend; I’m not your friend kinda thing. But adults are not as bright sometimes because they don’t know when to let go of a sad emotion. Not fair for you three wonderful children and I wanna help.

I promise you one thing, you three are very special and you bring so much joy to your parents. Without you children, their lives would be empty. You are their everything! We just need to let them know they are hurting you because I bet they don’t even realize it. And once they do, you’ll see, things will be better.

OK, here’s what you can do to help me, help you and we will work as a team.
• Make 2 copies of this letter and let’s give it to both of them. It’s ok, put it under their pillows so they will read it when they are going to bed.
• Now I am going to just write mom and dad a message because I know how they feel and I so get how you three feel. I think they will hear you three children through us doing it together. Team work, ok…

***You are so awesome and what a wonderful big sister you are. Your brother and sister are so lucky to have you. Thanks for the picture of the three of you, you guys are so cute!

Tossing you BIG BIG BIG Woobie {{{{{hugs}}}}}}}
I am always here for you Woobie’s Special Angel…. Always ☺

Hey Mom and Dad,

It’s Woobie. Your three angels are crying and need your help to heal.

I understand totally where you are and how you feel. The best gift I can offer you is a copy of my book, “Tears of Fears Behind Closed Doors”. The book is about my life and what I have been through. Although some parts of my book may not apply to you, there is a message for all parents. Through out my book there are messages in it that helps us as parents stop hurting our children.

If the two of you want to argue, no problem, hold on to the past and let it kill you inside and out, totally your call, just not in front or around the children. You probably don’t even realize you are doing it so I know you don’t mean it, put come on guys, it’s time to open your eyes and move on! It’s hard sometimes, but you can do it. If you will allow me, I can help you to be able to leave your children out of your divorce.

They love you both and you are shattering them. Please e-mail me your address and I will SEND YOU A FREE copy of my book. info@lyn-dee.com

Don’t cause your children to be the victims of your divorce, they are priceless and all they want is for you both to love them and spend time with them being happy.

So in the mean time while my book is waiting for you, allow me just to quote from my book a poem I wrote and please think about what we want our children to become.

“The child within us is walking alone
Searching for a part of them to call their own
Through the years and the journeys
And all that be said
Comes the adult that is searching for the greatness ahead…”.

Your children as you have read are reaching out for help and the truth is you both are the only ones that can make the difference. Learn this now and have a better life for you and your angels today, tomorrow and forever. Time does heal all wounds and I believe it is time to heal and move on!

With all my love and support ☺

Love and {{hugs}},


***SPECIAL NOTE TO ALL: I always say we all have the same problems, only the names and faces change. If you feel that maybe your children are feeling this pain and you want help, there are two ways to receive my book.
1. If you cannot afford it, e-mail me and I will be more then happy to send you a free copy.
2. If you can afford it, please order my book from this site, (go to store). Portions of the Proceeds go to various non-profit organizations to help keep all women and children safe.





Hi Woobie,

I need some advice and thought I would ask you as you have been through the situation.
My friend **** whom I know you have talked to, as you know is in a very controlling abusive relationship. Her “husband” doesn’t like me, as I am a threat to his control. He has also brainwashed her son into not liking me either. So she has issues with both her husband and he son acts out and causes her problems when Les either talks to me on the phone, on the computer or in person. When I am there he son misbehaves, is violent, and totally rude and disrespectful towards me and his mother, he unplugs the phone when she talks to me on the phone (his step-father encourages this), and she just plain isn’t allowed to go out for coffee or anything with me. After this week her “husband” is unemployed so he will be there all the time living off of her disability cheque. I don’t see where she is close or even considering leaving the situation. I love her and want the best for her. Whenever I am there her life is more difficult so I think the best thing for me to do is to stay away, however I don’t want her to look at it as I am deserting her and causing her to stay in the situation longer because he is “standing by her”. I also know if I do this it will end her connection to ***** and the personal development she is getting from that as her husband is dead against it (again cause it threatens his control). What would you suggest I do?

Woobie’s Friend with a cry for help in London, ON


Dear Woobie’s Friend with a cry for help,

So sad, but I also was in your shoes too many times and here is what I did.
I had to tell my dear friend(s) that I am here for her when ever she needs me. ALWAYS and whenever that is, whether it be today, tomorrow or a year from now, I will always be here for her. I told her I didn’t want to cause more problems for her, I wish she would see what everyone else see’s but I cannot be her eyes. I gave her a big hug and a prayer. I worried about her everyday, knowing she was getting abused, beating down and destroyed. I had to come to realize I couldn’t help her because at this point, I wanted her safety and sanity more then she wanted it for herself. Let her know you don’t care if it is in the middle of the night, she can call you anytime…

Our prayers for all women is that hopefully before it is too late and they are killed, they will get out and be safe. When she has had enough and truly had enough, something will snap inside here and she will end this nightmare and when she does… We are all here for her. :)

I also had a friend that I finally went to out to her family for help, her father and told him what was happening and he did step in. Man she was pissed at me, but a few months went by and she called me to thank me. She got out of the relationship safely because her father wouldn’t go away. Try telling a girls father to stay away or turn his grandson on him and see what happens…and here is when an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth comes in.

(It comes to a point where you need help helping your friends and you should reach out to their families…)

I had to come to terms that she would get pissed at me… but that was a price I was willing to pay if the outcome was her safety…

Up to date. My friends are now happy and in very healthy relationships….

I hope this helped…

Love and {{hugs}},


Teenager in Love and Feeling the Abuse


Dear Woobie,

I am 17 years old and I heard you on the radio earlier this month and I think I need help. I am crying all the time and it is because my boyfriend is never happy with me. The more I try to do things right, it seems as if I can never do anything that get’s a smile or positive response from him. We have been with each other for almost 2 years and I am tired of crying, when I try to talk to him, he just blows me off and tells me to leave him alone until he is ready to talk to me, so I do. And then when he is ready, he tells me I shouldn’t do things to piss him off. I could never figure out what was wrong until I heard your show. I now know I am being abused, mentally. I want out. I also got your book and I am going to follow what you did to leave. I guess what I am now asking you is … do you think if I leave, he will change and maybe there is a future for us? I love him so much and I am torn inside and scared.

Thanks for helping me see the light, but it feels so dark ☹

Woobie’s Teenager in love in Pa.


My dearest Woobie’s Teenager in love,

I know you are scared and you are feeling as if your world is crumbling. Please know you are not alone and I am right here with you. Please call the 1-800 hotline numbers so you can talk to others that have been where you are too. We are all here for you! I am glad you understand the signs of mental abuse and you do realize you are a victim. I am here for you whenever you need some one to talk to and you can always reach out to me.

To answer your question, will he change? This is going to be very hard for you to stick to your guns. He will cry and say he is sorry and beg for you to come back, he will tell you he will change. I need for you to be as strong as you can be and DO NOT GO BACKWARDS. He needs help. He will have to reach out to a therapist by himself. He has to realize he is doing this for himself so his behavior pattern changes forever. This is not something that he says he is going to do and only does it a few times to get you back. This will take months for him to do if he truly wants to change. If after a minimum of 6 months he is still going, then evaluate the relationship and see if you both are ready to get back into the relationship slowly.
This will also be the time for you to go for help as well and find the happier you who like’s to laugh, smile and love. The only way this can work is if you DO NOT SEE OR SPEAK TO HIM. Again, he must go for help because he knows HE NEEDS TO GO, not to get you back.

If you see him during these 6 months, it will be a head game and you will probably end up going back to him and the both of you will probably stop going for the help you both need. Things will be good for a while but they will go back to how they once were and you don’t want this to happen.

Here are the signs that the therapy will stop. He will go for a short amount of time and then say he doesn’t need to go anymore, he loves you and sees how he was hurting you and he will never do it again. WRONG! He will say he went for help for you and for you to trust him.

Please give yourself the 6 months to really pull yourself together. You deserve this time for you to recover what has been done to you for the last 2 years. I promise you, that if after 6 months of separation, it is meant to be, it will be. But during this time, you just might find out that you don’t need, want or have any desire to ever be treated that way again and you would like to find someone else to share your time with… And then you can pay it forward by sharing your story with others that need your kind words of wisdom!

Remember, my teenager in love, I am here for you always and 1-800 hotlines are here for you always. Be strong and move forward, there is a wonderful bright light at the end of the tunnel, I promise!

Love and {{hugs}},

Sept. 2009


Shyness and Appearance

Hi Woobie;

Through a long list of circumstances, I’m broke and unemployed. I’ve been self-employed before, so that’s not the problem. The problem is I want to start a coaching and speaking business (I have the small biz management experience to do this) but through years of neglect, my teeth are literally rotting out of my head. I have no cash nor insurance to go to the dentist right now, and yet I have to work to eat. I’m not exactly the most easily-hired candidate due to some background issues; I know I can make it except I’m freaking out that people will see my bad teeth and run. Or laugh. Or both. Thoughts?


Woobie’s Future Coach in Washington,DC


Hi Woobie’s Future Coach,

I would suggest you get in touch with all the dental schools and dental colleges in your area and tell them you would like to talk to them about basically being a guinea pig for them. I know a few people that go to dental schools and have work done on their teeth. It either cost them no money because they are allowing students to work on them or little money.
But that is what I would do if I was in your situation. Then once you have a beautiful smile, you will feel 100% better about yourself and then others would love to hear what you have to say!

Good Luck to you. I know one day you will shine! :0)

Love and ((hugs)),
August, 2009


Will I Ever Find Another Partner and How?

Dear Woobie,

I broke up with my partner that I was with for 10 years – 3 years ago and I have been alone ever since. I know I am a good catch but how do I found someone that I am compatible with. I still live in the same place I have lived in for almost all my life, so I pretty much know everyone and there is not one person I would even consider having a relationship with. I have worked at the same place for 20 years, so no one new there. I don’t have any children and I really just want to find someone who I can have some fun with and enjoy my weekends with, but it is hard when you don’t ever get out of your surroundings. So, how do I go about finding new people? I often wish I could move, and I can, but where? So, are there any suggestions how to meet new people? Oh, by the way, I am in my 40’s.

Thanks Woobie!

Woobie’s Great Catch in Kansas City, Ks


Dear Woobie’s Great Catch,

There are so many that feel like you do. In today’s world of open communication and Social Media there are ways to meet new people. Absolutely! Years ago, I laughed at people that used the internet and newspapers to find their match, but today I am proud to say, I’ve grown with the times and I’m a BIG believer of some of the match-maker’s sites on the internet. And since I know a few people that were successful with online dating services, I would recommend that you start there. You will be able to write a profile about yourself for others to see and you will see their profile and decide if you want to communicate with them, if not, don’t bother. You can choose whom you want to speak with and then have a conversation via e-mail and then if you would like to continue the communication, you can then speak to each other over the phone. Then I would recommend you meeting that person in a Public Mutual Place where there’s many people around you.
Examples: The Mall, Restaurant, (pay for your own meal, so you don’t owe this person anything and they don’t expect anything in return), etc. Meeting in a busy public place is much safer then meeting them alone. This way if you don’t like the person, you are free to go if you choose to and you are not endangering yourself.
Just for precautionary reason’s, do not give them your address to pick you up, drive yourself.
Good Luck to you Woobie’s Great Catch that is in her prime! “40’s”, great age. Please let me know how things work out for you.

Love and ((hugs)),

July, 2009


My stepdaughter and me! Family War. PLEASE HELP!

Dear Woobie,

I thought life would be a lot different then it is when I married my husband who has a 14 year old daughter. Before we got married, everything was perfect, we did things together and enjoyed our “family” time doing things. Since we got married almost 1 year ago, things have become so strand in our marriage.
I feel as if I am only here to do things for them, clean, cook and taking her places if my husband is not home. Be there for them when they want me to be. I feel as if my husband caters to his daughter way too much, giving her everything her heart desires whether it is earned or not. My husband and I are arguing more then we ever have before. And if I were to say no to anything, I am the ***** and get the rolling eyes at me.
I really miss what we had and I just want it back to how it was. I don’t want to fight or be dis-included anymore. Is it too late to rekindle the feeling of newness and happiness that we all once shared?
Looking for a happy ending, please give me your honest opinion.

Woobie’s women of desiring a perfect family in Denver, Co.


Dear Woobie’s Women of Desire:

Being a stepparent myself of 3 I know how hard it is, but if you want your relationships to work, you need to be a friend to your stepdaughter and not a parent figure. Hard to do, yes, but it can be done. Hopefully you will get the respect you once had and hopefully be able to rekindle your family when you follow these steps.

1.First, really look at yourself. Have you changed and feel you should have more say then you did before because you are now married? This is hard, but you have to look inside yourself before you can repair and mend. It is always easier to point the finger and I am not saying it is totally you, I am just saying look to see how you have changed. If you can figure out how you have changed, then you can move forward and work with your husband and your stepdaughter to having that healthy relationship you once had. You can get it back.

2. Teenage girls are rough as we both know being one once ourselves. Take your stepdaughter out for lunch and express to her where you feel you have changed and tell her what you really want your relationship to be. Ask her what she wants and how can she help heal the relationship. Ask her if she sees how she acts and responds towards you. Tell her you want to be her friend, not her parent. This lunch is not to point fingers, but to mend and heal, so when you are discussing your feelings, drop the word ‘you’ and say ‘we’.
(Even if you don’t feel it is your fault, change the pointing of fingers to everyone involved… ‘we’).

**If you repair things with your step-daughter, things with
your husband will be back on the right track. All he wants is for everyone to get along, he probably feels like he is in the middle and the guilt that a biological parent feels, can control how he gives into his daughter. He probably feels as if he is being pulled like a tug of war.

Remember one thing about your stepdaughter and your husband, their bond is stronger then any bond out there. As for your stepdaughter, she would be raised the way she is whether you are in the picture or not, so relax and accept it and if you want to be included in the family activities, go with the flow and let things roll off your shoulders whether you agree with your husbands decisions or not. Pick and chose. I know it is hard, very hard, but just control what you can and accept what you can’t.

Again, be your stepdaughter’s friend, not her parent and accept your roll. You will never get the respect as if you were her mother and she might be the biggest brat ever, but you can still build a relationship with her that is strong once she realizes you are not trying to be her mother or take the place of her mother or take her dad away from her. You can and should get the respect of being her special friend.

If you want things to be better, your roll is to just be there for your husband as his wife and best friend and be there for your stepdaughter as you would be for any other child that was not your stepdaughter!

3. Take your husband out of a nice quite dinner alone and speak with him. Let your husband know what you have decided and how you accept to fit in! Let him know how your lunch went with his daughter. Let your husband know you just want to work as a team and not feel as if you are his enemy. Ask your husband to just let you know how he is dealing with any decision before he speaks to his daughter so you know what to expect and you are not caught off guard. And now your stepdaughter will think it is both of your decisions. (You and your husband are working as a team and she can’t play one another against each other.)

When you don’t agree about how your husband is dealing with any subject, go for a walk and vent to yourself.

Clue: Blood is thicker then water….

I know you can make it work and I understand how challenging it is, but remember, if you want it bad enough, it will be worth the hard work you need to put into this family!

Good luck my special women of desire, I am always here for you! If you need to vent, please contact me and absolutely keep me updated with what is going on and how things are going.



June, 2009


Understanding MLM
Work from Home And
Is it for me?

Dear Woobie,

What will I be getting myself into and does it really work? I have never done this before, I have never worked from home and I have never sold anything before. Nothing! I have always worked outside my home but like many, I lost my job of 31 years. I was shocked. All I have been doing for the last 31 years is waking up, going to my office where I had an executive position and thinking I had the most secured job with my retirement around the corner. Surprise. I felt confused, hurt, and need less to say, destroyed when my boss called me into his office and said, “sorry, I have to let you go”.. Yes I was given a severance package, whop de do, and it isn’t even close to what my retirement was going to be. I’m scared need less to say. A friend of mine has been asking me to get involved with this ***MLM company forever and I always said no, but I think it is time to do something that will be mine so no one can pull the rug out from under me again. I want to be in business for myself, but how much money will that cost? A lot! Then I read, ‘Why Does Robert Kiyosaki And Donald Trump Endorse MLM’. If they say it’s good, I should at least check into it, right? I just don’t know how to get started. Can you help me? Oh, I haven’t made up my mind yet, but I’m fixin’ to.

Woobie’s old fashion gal from Mont., Alabama


Dear Woobie’s old fashion gal;

Congratulations! I applaud you for stepping out of your box and taking control! I am proud of you for seeking other avenues where you can grow and become more independent. :0) ((hugs)) I don’t blame you for being scared or cautious, that ‘s normal. And you know what, you don’t think you’ve ever sold anything, but you have! I bet you have recommended a restaurant or a movie or a store or a vacation spot to someone and you never thought it as selling because you were very passionate and excited to share your experience for others to do the same. And I’ll also bet, none of those companies ever sent you any money for your referral, correct? My point is, you were so passionate about what you recommended that people bought into your belief. As long as you are passionate and you believe in your product, you can and will sell anything. You just have to believe in it. The most powerful line in that book was, “as long as you get involved with the right MLM, it is a fantastic opportunity”, so what that means is do your homework. I have been involved with quite a few MLM companies because I believe in the concept 100%. With that being said…

First, let’s make sure you understand what MLM is because it is not for everyone. I want to make sure you are doing the right thing for you before you make this commitment. (I always take 30% right off the top of each of my earnings and put it aside in a savings account.)
Now, don’t get all freaked out, there is an upside to this! And it’s a BIGGY..Tax Write offs! Here, I found this site for you.
Go to: http://alabamalivenetwork.ning.com/profiles/blogs/taxadvantages‐
. This will educate you on how you can take advantage of having a home base business in your state of Alabama! It really is fantastic! Love that part of it!
Please do your research on whatever company you are getting involved with.
Answer these few questions and if you can give a positive answer on ALL of them, maybe you should go for it. (Great way to check out the sales projections is to call a financial advisor, (you will want to speak to one anyway), so start having a relationship with someone you trust.
Ask yourself (or your financial advisor):
1‐Company, is it a solid strong company?
2‐Need, is there a need for the product(s)?
Where else can you find similar products?
Who would be your competitors?
Market Saturation?
Support, how much support does your team give you?
How much is it to get started? How much do you have to sell to get back your investment? How do they pay? (Daily, Weekly, Monthly. By Check or direct deposit?)
Do you need to buy inventory? If so, how much and are there any quota’s? (Be careful, they might tell you your start up cost is cheap and then they get you to buy “inventory” or “samples”).
5‐ Timing, Are you getting started at beginning, middle or at the end of a trend?
What is the Market Saturation?
And the need! Are you filling a need?
You really don’t have to dig deeper than that to find out if this is the right company for you or not. If it’s not the one, keep looking into MLM’s and see if there is one that fits you.
Remember, there are some great ones out there. Please beware of the hook people use to get you involved, they tell you, you will be set for life, you can make so much $$$ in such a short time…. Nay, nay…there is no such thing as a “get rich quick company” and if they’re saying they are, I would run! It takes time to build your business. I will tell you what I advise all my associates to do. Work your MLM business part time as a Plan ‘B’, but get a job to have another form of income to pay your bills while your MLM business is growing. It took me 2 ½ years working mine part time before I could make it my full
time income! And it is worth it! I do have a great successful independent life now! But again, it did not happen over night! There are people that have had greater success then me quicker then two years, but they really, really worked it hard right from the beginning!
If you would like to ask me my opinion about a certain company, I
would be more than happy to talk to you one on one. I promise to
never belittle any company, just tell you the facts! You can contact me by e‐mailing, info@lyn‐dee.com or you can call me. 603 497 2439.
To get more information and facts about ‘How to build a Successful MLM business and become Financially Independent’,
please go to my website, www.Lyn‐Dee.com
Good Luck on your journey!
Remember, If you believe in it, you can do anything’!

Love & ((hugs)),


May, 2009


My son is being Brainwashed

and Hates me

Dear Woobie,

I just finished reading your book “Tears of Fears” a friend of yours lent it to me. *********, we have been friends for about 10 years but our friendship did not start to really develop until this year. I am divorced 1 year, it took almost 2 years to get that done. I am wondering if you can direct me to some help, my ex turned verbally abusive about the last 5 or so years of our marriage. He called me names in front of our kids told them I was

stupid. Even convinced our son that I did not want him to live with me along with molesting him. I am needing to talk about this but not to my friends any more I am tired of sharing with them and they can only take so much of it. I also want to move on with my life but each time my ex talks to me he has something bad to say and it gets to me. I want to be able to get over this and just share with people that understand and/or have been through the same thing. I even have trouble sleeping and staying asleep, some times I wake in the middle of the night and my mind gets stuck on the issues with the ex and my son and I cant seem to turn it off. Please guide me to some help so that I can help others along with me.

Yours truly,

Woobie K from Wis.


Hi Woobie K,

Thanks for reaching out to me! It is all about Paying it Forward!

I totally understand where you are and I can (as you have read my book), relate to you 100%.

I will be referring to your Ex using the name “Anus”.

With that being said, I want you to call the DV hotlines. These incredible people are there for you 24/7 and they are all survives as well. Keep calling until you find the counselor that is right for you. It is wonderful to be able to speak to someone when you are awake at those ungodly hours of the wee morning.

The National Domestic Violence Hotline. If something about your relationship with your partner or ex scares you and you need to talk,

Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at:

1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

I hope my book is helping you realize a few things. One of the most important messages in my book is to share with you the reason your ex is doing what he does and why he says terrible things about you to your son.

Bottom line is this is the only thing he can use to attack you and get a reaction! It’s the only way he knows he can get to you! He knows this destroys you when he uses your children as the weapon, (of course it is, messing with women’s children!) You have already divorced him, what else can he possible use to get back at you. Nothing! But your kids! Got it!

As hard as this is and I know it is hard, you have to grow a very strong back bone and realize if you cannot control it, you need to charge at it at a different angle. If you can’t control what he says or does, start working on a solution that will show him…”What Ever Anus”!

1. Talk to your son and your children and never stop talking to your kids about the issues that are going on at the present time. (trust me, after this issue, there will be another one and another one, until your kids are old enough to say ‘enough dad!) But, until then. Here is my advice:

2. Never be little your ex, no matter how bad it gets and what an Anus he really is, never belittle!

3. Talk with the kids and let them know (and you will have to repeat this several times, in your life time) ‘what daddy says and does to you about me, is not at all true and tell them you love them so very much! Secure and protect them with your love.

(remember, the kids have enough on their plate, you do not have to go into great detail of why Anus acts the way he does, don’t make it their problem any more then Anus has), just that he does. And no matter what he says, you love them with all your heart and soul and there is nothing more precious in your life then them!

4. Make a loving deal with the kids that if daddy ever says anything bad about you to them, it probably isn’t true and instead of getting mad at mommy, how about if we make a deal and we always discuss what is bothering you(the kids).

5. Your only answer to the kids should always be, I don’t get why daddy says what he says, I guess he is just really upset at me, but that has nothing to do with them at all! And always give plenty of hugs and kisses!

6. When your children are so angry with you because of something he said and they don’t want to talk to you, (again, this is out of your control). It is ok, they are people to and just need time to calm down. If you make them talk and they are not ready to hear you, you’re not going to be heard and then what’s the point in trying to talk to them right away. (Everyone go to your corners)…. When things settle down, then talk!

7. Here is the end result. Right now the kids are young, the divorce is still fresh because your ex will not let it go and they are carrying a lot of pain, they also feel as if they are in the middle of you two and don’t want to disappoint either of you. Your ex plays with their sympathy button! And your son is feeling very sorry for dad.

I will close with this, it is very hard not to get pissed and want to yell back, fight and create more drama! It is normal to want to because you are on the defense. But here is how you must handle this to regain your sanity and control.

1. In front of him, laugh it off and walk away as if he doesn’t phase you in the least, (I know you are burning inside and just want to lash out at him, but be smarter)

2. Vent to the abuse lines not your kids.

3. The only thing I would say to Anus (which I said to my Anus) and only once, is… “In the long run if he keeps doing these things to his kids, he will be the loser, the kids will not want anything to do with him when they get older, period! They remember what dad said, what mom said and they will pick and chose when they get older who is right or wrong!

And let’s face it, we look forward to the future with our kids, so just know down the road, they will see the light and he will be gone if he doesn’t straighten out! The best part, you had nothing to do with it!

My daughter, now 23 years old. Still to this day, she will tell everyone, my mother never said a bad thing about my ‘biological dude’, but he always had something bad to say about mom! Sica, (my daughter), stopped talking to him when she was 11…and it was because she wanted to and it was on her own, (as you read in my book, you read our story.) Our relationship as mom & daughter is better then ever and we are best friends. We are so close! Sad, she doesn’t speak or see her father, I wonder if he knows he is a grandfather to an amazing little girl? It is truly his lose!

I hope this helps you and you will have the strength to move forward operating the controls that only you have control of. That is your responses and your reactions!

Sweet dreams, Thank you for being the strength your children need the most!

Smile, laugh and just take in what is worth it and throw away the rest!

Thank you for sharing my book with others and paying it forward!



April, 2009


Where Has All The Magic Gone?

Dear Woobie,

I am married 17 years to a really great guy (everyone loves him!), he is a wonderful provider, and he really does love me and I know it. But I can’t help but feel there is something missing, I long for that emotional connection but don’t feel like I want to give up what I have. And we have our children. But like I said…I do long for that connection emotionally. I think he just is incapable at this time…he doesn’t see that it’s even missing! And knowing his background, it doesn’t surprise me. I have my own life and really enjoy the things I do. (He never even blinks when I tell him I want to do something…just what does he “need to do to help?” I’ve always loved his optimism and sincerity in helping others.

I don’t want my sons to think that’s how a man should be…devoid of emotional connection…but I guess that’s why I’m their mom!!! :)

My spouse doesn’t beat me, isolate me, verbally abuse me…he’s just emotionally absent. I honest to gosh don’t think he even knows it (especially considering his past) I’ve talked to him about it told him what I need and he just doesn’t seem capable. Emotional apathy. So if he IS incapable and/or just doesn’t care…what do I do next? Looking for a counselor.

Thanks for the support, Woobie! Hugs

~~Woobie’s Wonderer in Michigan


Dear Woobie’s Wonderer;

All in all, it sounds like you have a good life. (Thank G-D).

Some people cannot show love, but do love, some people never received it growing up so they have no idea how it feels to love or be loved. No fault of theirs, they just don’t honestly know. How sad. I guess the question you need to ask yourself is, if you know deep down that he loves you and he is not abusing you in anyway, (just unable to show love), what are you really looking for?

You need to decide if it is worth giving up the life style you have and the friend he seems to be. Do you really want to search for a lover that meets your desires? Are they out there? Yea, but also remember, no one will have everything you want, they will lack in different areas!

Just always remember, there is no one, including us, (hard to believe, I know, lol) that is 100% perfect and we all lack something that someone needs. Make sense? Your husband doesn’t sound like a bad guy at all. So if that is the case, lack of emotional expression (and I am not saying you should be without it), but as long as you can deal with it because you know he does love you, he does take care of you and you are his wife, mother of his children, most of all, Best Friend …then maybe you will also realize that the magical feeling of being in love, just doesn’t last as long as we would like it to. But if you have a mate that does do what you say your husband does, I think it’s all good!

You know, there is nothing like new love! A fresh beginning of getting to know someone. We all want that partner to just be in love with us, and act as if there were fireworks going off every time we saw one another and treat our relationships as if it was brand new. We want our mate to always look at us as if it was the first time and they’re just in ah and everything is so magical… If only that lasted, but in the real world, we get comfortable and become a family of reality. Nothing wrong with that, we just need to accept it for just that! We have witnessed each other go through so much, being sick, giving birth, sitting on the toilet, waking up every morning looking not so polished, etc. lol (it’s all called normal reality). Knowing you are in love deep down and your home is safe and content, well my sister, that is normal reality!

The grass isn’t always greener on the other side. Maybe (and again, this is only something I am tossing out there.) Maybe as long as you are able to have your own life and do the things that make you happy, hobby’s, entertainment, girls night out, etc., maybe if you look at it as you have a life long best friend instead of what is missing, (a lover), that will help.

You’ve been married a long time and first of all I applaud you for that. If you desire that lover, (and you have every right to want this), maybe one night, give the kids money to go to dinner and a movie and you make a romantic dinner with a romantic setting to entice him. When was the last time you had “date night”?

What are you doing to spice up your love life? Hanging out in the evening in your nighty isn’t that sexy, right, maybe while he is watching TV, you can go take a shower and set the bedroom up as a romantic getaway with candles, wine cheese, grapes, soft music and then call him in! (We all enjoy a peaceful setting that is made just for us!) Do what he would never expect but admires on TV!

I hope all this helped you and I am always here for you! And I understand, we all understand, why because we all strive for the fresh new love, especially us women!

So if he is the man you say he is, just go and give him a kiss and say, I love you, why, just because! And one more thing, date night should happen at least once a month!

And your sons, as long as you show the kids love and let them know how good it feels to give love and receive love from a woman’s point of view, hopefully they will catch on and understand and deliver.

So here is one BIG HUG from Woobie to you! Go reel in your guy Woobie Wonderer, I bet he will bite the bate!




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