Holding a Grudge is Like Drinking the Poison and Expecting the Other Guy to Die.

Forgive and Move On and Take the Knowledge With You to Grow…

As we go through life there are many people that will cross our path and for each person there is a lesson. For everything we do and we experience, there is a reason. How are you handling the good the bad and the ugly?

If you walk through life everyday and you allow drama to control your day, you will be blinded by the knowledge it is meant to bring. If you are spending time getting wrapped up in other people’s drama, you will never grow because you will be stuck in a place that is consumed with troubling times.

As your life goes on, you will realize that you become who you are because of everything you have seen, done and been through. And when you realize that you are a product of your lives experiences, you will see that everything has made you who you are today.

So for the evil things and challenging people that have crossed your path, be thankful. If you hold on to harsh feelings, it will burn you inside and the grudge will be holding you back. You will have internally poisoned yourself.

For everything, there is always a solution. It is up to you to make the right choice of what the solution will be. You can be angry and hold on to those negative feelings that will just burn inside you and could make you sick, or you can turn it around and say, Thank you for the experience of teaching me “the not to”, now I understand the “how too”.

When I look back at everything and everyone that has entered my life, I appreciate them for the knowledge that has helped me grow and become everything and more.

So when things are happening and you feel as if you just can’t get a break, think again, you have been given the opportunity to find a solution and make it happen better for you the next time!

One moment at a time, one step at a time, one day at a time!

((hugs))

Lyn-Dee

 

8 Responses to “Holding a Grudge is Like Drinking the Poison and Expecting the Other Guy to Die.”

  1. Emery Says:

    I asked this question just a few days ago to another, they were very busy and didn’t give me even a response to consider, but;
    I agree with the wisdom above, but the many folks who have crossed my path both negative and postive. I have forgiven those who crossed me, but I want nothing to do with them, is that wrong? Some who have crossed me couldn’t care less if I want anything to do with them, but I am not angry with them any longer just prefer not to associate with them and value what I learned. Others also don’t care about me, but they are family, they want nothing to do with me because I disagree with their conduct, they don’t want my forgiveness, they feel I am wrong in disagreeing, but I’ve forgiven them but also want nothing to do with them.

    The last one is my own son, he married a gal who feels the need to control everyone in her life and she feels that I have to be controlled by her. I feel different, so subsequently my son feels that I owe him an apology for these reasons;
    1. I asked him to take his hat off at the supper table.
    2. I gave him some fatherly guidance on home buying, I am a Real Estate agent and he feels I didn’t have any business giving him guidance.
    3. I was going to buy a car for him, pay for it myself and he wants an apology for my voicing my opinion on the vehicle SHE chose!

    The 3rd one is the worst because it hurts my wife that we aren’t speaking, but I don’t owe him and his wife an apology for doing what I thought was the right thing.

    What do you think?

  2. admin Says:

    Hey There Emery,

    Before you continue, I just want to let you know I do not mean to at all offend you in anyway, I am very open and honest and don’t have much time to BS and use the most politically correct words or phrases, so please do not be offended by my advice.

    Thanks for contacting me. Family sometimes just plain outright suck! And aren’t kids something? They just know it all and think they got it all figured out. I have 4 children, ages 11,16,18 and 24 and they too think they have it all figured out. I call this action that I am going to share with you “Tough Love”!

    Question
    I asked this question just a few days ago to another, they were very busy and didn’t give me even a response to consider, but;
    I agree with the wisdom above, but the many folks who have crossed my path both negative and positive. I have forgiven those who crossed me, but I want nothing to do with them, is that wrong?

    Answer
    Absolutely not. You have a right to pick and choose who you want to associate with. Many people will come and go and some will stick and stay and others will give you the wisdom of what drama you want in your life and how it helped you grow. There are many people that I wish not to associate with and because I am a very honest person, I also let them know how they fit into my life. No BS, just the facts. Not angry at any of them, never yelling or losing my temper, just spoke to them in away they didn’t even realize I just told them off and to stay out of my life and then thanked them for the lesson. I just appreciate the lesson from the experience they put me through. So always remember one thing, forgiving is what you should do so you don’t poison yourself, but to give-in is also poisoning yourself in this case with your son and daughter-in-law.

    Question
    Some who have crossed me couldn’t care less if I want anything to do with them, but I am not angry with them any longer just prefer not to associate with them and value what I learned. Others also don’t care about me, but they are family, they want nothing to do with me because I disagree with their conduct, they don’t want my forgiveness, they feel I am wrong in disagreeing, but I’ve forgiven them but also want nothing to do with them.

    Answer
    Nothing wrong with this either. Family are your toughest people to deal with because they are blood. And just because they are family, doesn’t mean you owe them anything more then you owe another person outside of your family. I can assure you, your friends are probably nicer to you and respect you more then your blood relatives. Do you agree? But still, they taught you a lesson! I call my friends my chosen family!

    Question
    The last one is my own son, he married a gal who feels the need to control everyone in her life and she feels that I have to be controlled by her. I feel different, so subsequently my son feels that I owe him an apology for these reasons;
    1. I asked him to take his hat off at the supper table.
    That is only asking for respect! Nothing wrong with you asking for this simple task to be done, and shame on him for not respecting you enough to just do it! It’s a hat for G-d sakes.

    2. I gave him some fatherly guidance on home buying, I am a Real Estate agent and he feels I didn’t have any business giving him guidance.
    Then let them learn on their own and don’t waste your breathe or your time. They will get screwed and then realize (hopefully), your guidance was to help them, not hurt them. And don’t give them any money towards this house. As a parent we always want to help our children but there comes a time and point when we need to back off. It is so hard to do, I know! But do it! Tough love, you don’t owe them anything, not even the money you might have said you were going to give them towards the house. They lost that “gift” when they disrespected you and your wife. (Your son’s mother and father)

    3. I was going to buy a car for him, pay for it myself and he wants an apology for my voicing my opinion on the vehicle SHE chose!
    Then let them BUY their own car and let her pick what ever car she wants. Again, the money you would have paid to buy them a car is called a “gift”! Your son will learn that in life, it is so much nicer and much more peaceful to have a “spouse” as your best friend, not a boss. Good luck on this marriage, she sounds like a winner!

    The 3rd one is the worst because it hurts my wife that we aren’t speaking, but I don’t owe him and his wife an apology for doing what I thought was the right thing.
    Your wife, bless her heart, is a mom and we as mom’s hate when there is any friction with the kids! We hate it and it is very unsettling. Please tell her to just support you. Trust me, if there was in anyway, I thought you were wrong in any part of this, I would be the first to tell you so. As far as I can read, (unless there is something missing that you haven’t told me), you are right and you shouldn’t give into this disrespectful behavior.
    How old is your son and how long have they been married? Do they live with you too? Is this your only child?
    The most important thing, is tell your son and reassure him, that you love him dearly, you just will not accept this continues behavior of constant disrespect to keep going on. You and your wife, his mom and dad, are and will be there for him when he becomes a human being again! And that’s more then fair.

    Give your wife a (((BIG HUG))) and let her know how much you love her and please, give her a (((hug))) for me. I know she needs it!
    What do you think?
    I sincerely hope this helps you and your wife. I understand your pain and I am always here for you both!

    Have a pleasant day and do something special for you and your wife today!!!

    Love and (((hugs))),

    Lyn-Dee

  3. admin Says:

    {RP} Emery 1:50pm Tuesday, 07.14.09

    Hi Lyn-Dee,
    I want to thank you so much for your response. I was in the middle of another long ole dissertation over what is going on with my son and it dawned on me that you more then likely do not have time to review another long dramatic story.

    I do thank you very very much, I truly appreciate you kind words and would honestly appreciate it if you came across and slapped me around if that got your point across.

    Emery

  4. admin Says:

    You’re funny! As long as this is the story…I am glad to be here for you both. Please keep me posted with what is going on. Stay connected with me and always come back to my site. Please accept my gift, there is a FREE e-book on my home page and sign up for my newsletters. It is to help everyone grow! Please tell you wife, I can’t wait to meet her!

    Please do this one very important action- your wife… has so much pain inside her. She should be your concern now. Take her for a nice dinner and speak with her about your feelings. No fighting, no arguing. Reassure her that you love her and you are a team. …in return, she should give this back to you. Help each other through this pain…TOGETHER! Shame on your son for acting like this. Reassure her that when your son becomes a human being again, you will both be there for him 100%. Just appreciate and give each other love and not just for today, but everyday… Help each other through this pain…TOGETHER!

    OK, Good Luck …

    (((hugs)))
    Lyn-Dee

  5. Renee Chase Says:

    Hi Lyn-Dee,

    Great post about a subject very dear to my heart. It reminds me a lot about, “The Power of Now”, a great book and favorite of many. We all need to live in the current moment, let go of the past and not be too overly concerned about the future.

    Anyone who believes in the Law of Attraction knows that holding a grudge is a negative and by sending out negatives to the Universe you are asking to receive them back in turn.

    Great subject! Keep up the good work!

    Renee
    Renee Chase´s last blog ..A Review of Crush It!: Why NOW Is the Time to Cash In on Your Passion by Gary Vaynerchuk My ComLuv Profile

  6. admin Says:

    Thank you so much Renee. I couldn’t agree with you more. There is so much negative stale air out in our universe and we get to pick and chose what and who we want to be associate with. I choose to win! I love your energy.

    {{hugs}}
    Lyn-Dee

  7. Ken Pickard Says:

    Lyn-Dee,

    You have some great points and gold nuggets in your post. I also believe in being positive and that life would be much better if we all put stock into the good in others and not in the negative.

    Life is precious and should be enjoyed. Have fun… kick the sand around and play in the water!

    In my earlier years I’ve always tried to please everyone. Even at the risk of my own happiness which I often wondered why I had to chase. Now I know!

    I attract which matters most. Those are the things I chose to think about. interacting is a gift. We chose to accept certain gifts. We do not have to chose to accept them all.

    Like in the third Raiders movies… chose wisely.

    Ken Pickard
    The Network Dad
    Ken Pickard´s last blog ..4 Main Personality Types My ComLuv Profile

  8. admin Says:

    Hi Ken,

    I love your input. Life is to short to have to drink the poison that others try so hard to pour into us. If they just spent their time on more positive activities and enjoyed smiling more… they would be happier and more productive! I chose to pour into others what I hope they pour into me. You my friend, have poured sunshine not only into me, but into so many others! your Rock!

    {{hugs}}
    Lyn-Dee

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