“Silence is Great Brain Food”

It Allows the Soul to Revisit Many Ideas and Honors Us with Great Rewards.

How many times in my life did I just respond to a situation and didn’t even think of the words that would escape my month and then how badly I wished I didn’t say what I said? Only to say, “I didn’t mean it that way!”
What about you?

How many times did I wish I had re-phrased what I said?
What about you?

How many times did I wish I would have just walked away from a situation so I could have pondered, then came back after evaluating the circumstances?
What about you?

The answers to all the above for me is – MANY!

As we grow older and hopefully wiser, we learn the art of controlling
Heated Disturbing Communication (HDC):

1st- Listen without interrupting
2nd-Silence
3rd- and Ponder (walk away, but let the other party know you will be back, you just need time to think)
4th -Respond calmly and speak with, not to or at!

As we all know, when we speak, there are times:
‘What we say is not what is heard’
Or
‘What we said is not what we meant’
Or
Our reaction was over the top!

Whenever a situation arises and you feel that unsettled feeling, maybe anger, sadness or just uninsured, try to respond with,
“This is a discussion that needs to be evaluated. I will ponder this and get back to you.” (Understand it is OK to walk away.)
There are a few reason’s I do this and I hope it helps you think before you answer and/or respond.

When you can become a GREAT listener, you will be able to understand where that other party is coming from. You may not agree with them and you may want to voice your opinion quickly. BUT DON’T!

If you realize that for everything that is said or an action is taken, there is a message behind it. Good, bad or indifferent. Your silence to ponder will become your reasoning and that will be much more respected and heard.

Whether you are speaking to friends, co-workers, family or even those you have categorized as enemies, it is always better to dissect a conversation and respond then to have a knee jerk reaction and wish you didn’t!

I know for myself, there have been many many times when I look back at a situation and put myself in someone else’s shoes, I could understand more clearly why it happened and how to look at it from an outsiders point of view. When I react to quickly, I can also be honest with myself and admit when I’ve been a jerk! And then hope the apology will be accepted.

When you are responding to a situation, start the conversation with the mirror exercise. Repeat out loud to the party you are speaking with what they expressed to you was their problem. This way, you are letting them know you are addressing their issue as you heard it. Allow them to also mirror you. Again, allow each other to finish talking before either of you respond or interrupt. .

After all, we are all human and we do make mistakes…

Have a peaceful life…{{hugs}}

 

6 Responses to ““Silence is Great Brain Food””

  1. Christopher McCargar Says:

    Hey Lyn-Dee,

    …silence, ponder… mirror. GREAT post, sage advice!

    There were many times in the past that I wished that I had observed a more refined technique such as that which you’ve outlined for us.

    They say “hindsight is 20/20″… but if the advice you’ve given us here is heeded, we can spend more time in joy… without the lament of looking back over words regretted.

    Your advice becomes something of a more practical nature with even greater value… FORESIGHT.

    Thank you for sharing your insights.

  2. jean Says:

    thank you Lynn,
    such a great post and I can certainly relate to this,
    so many mistakes have been made by not just listening
    thanks so much for sharing

  3. admin Says:

    Hi Jean,

    I am looking forward to connecting with you. Thank you so much for sharing your kinds words. Let’s keep moving forward in 2010 and let the sun shine in! ;o)
    {{hugs}}
    Lyn-Dee

  4. admin Says:

    Thank you Chris. Your words are priceless to me. Let’s stay connected and inspire ouselves and others.

    {{hugs}}
    Lyn-Dee

  5. Rebecca David Says:

    Lyn-Dee,

    Thank you for the reminder to be silent and reflect on what has taken place and exactly how we want to respond to it.

    Silence IS golden!
    Rebecca

  6. admin Says:

    Hi Rebecca,

    Thank you. It took me a while to understand this, but once I learned this, it is powerful and it has helped me countless times become more aware of what the real issue was and is. This helps us clear our minds of any anger we might be feeling and how to address all issues with a clear vision of what we truly want.
    It is not about the battle and who won, it is about a solution for all to rest and move forward.

    Thanks for taking the time to share you thoughts. Greatly appreciated.

    {{hugs}}
    Lyn-Dee

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